Dining alone does not have to be a painful experience (Photo: Jim Pennucci / Flickr)
It’s 7 p.m. and you just plopped down on the bed in your hotel room after a long day of meetings.
You’re starving, but now you have a decision to make. You can order room service. You can fish that crushed protein bar out of your carry-on and go mostly hungry. Or…. You can go downstairs to the hotel white-tablecloth restaurant and have a lovely meal alone. Cue horror music.
I’m over-dramatizing, but many business travelers wish they felt more comfortable about eating by themselves in restaurants. You want to escape from the boredom of your hotel room, enjoy better food than room service and maybe even strike up a conversation with another road warrior. But it’s awkward. (My theory: This is a hold-over from social dynamics in the high school cafeteria.)
Eating alone is something I’ve only recently gotten more relaxed about, but I now that I’ve had a taste, I want more. So I looked into some tips and tactics.
Perhaps the most important advice is to consider location, location, location. Choose your restaurant carefully, and then choose your table carefully. The discomfort in dining solo comes primarily from not knowing where to rest your eyes when there’s no one across the table from you. (That is, if you make the conscious decision not to spend the evening with your head in your smartphone or tablet.)
The hands-down easiest solution is to eat at a counter or bar, where you face no one. Most hotel bars serve food, and many restaurants have counter seating, often looking into an open kitchen. Or if you like sushi, you can hang out comfortably at the counter and—if you want—converse a little as the chef slices fish.
(Photo: Guian Bolisey / Flickr)
For communal tables, proceed with caution. On one hand, parties of one can easily slip in. On the other hand, you’re likely to be seated with small groups who may be engrossed in their own conversations. If you enter a restaurant with a communal table, scope it out first, before telling the host whether you’d like to be seated there.
Lingering is for couples, not singles. No matter how relaxed you get with dining alone, a prolonged meal will be painful. I’ve found it helps to order quickly and to be judicious in your choices: The 30-minute risotto is a great choice on a date, but not when you’re alone. Or go for a surgical strike: If you’re eating in your hotel restaurant, call down to pre-order your meal and it’ll be ready when you sit down.
West Coast – New York LaGuardia flights on horizon?
Check that you’re sending the right signals. Do you want to chat it up or be left alone? If you are open to engaging, have some questions at the ready for the server or bartender. No need to be scintillating. Something simple like, “Is it always this crowded?” will get things rolling. Conversely, if you want some time to yourself, don’t make eye contact and answer any parlays by being to-the-point (but polite).
The decision to bring reading material when dining alone is a personal one, and a case could be made for either way. Personally, I like the challenge of dining naked. (Well, you know what I mean—without hiding behind a book or device–which can almost feel like you’re naked.) It gives me the chance to really focus on the food and the restaurant, and to perhaps have an interesting conversation. But the case can also be made for the luxury of a quiet evening, engrossed in a book or surfing the web.
Perhaps the safest option, is to have something along to read as a Plan B if you become uncomfortable. Reading material can come in handy, too, as a polite retreat from an unwanted conversation. “Excuse me, I have some reading I need to finish up this evening,” will douse cold water on any unwelcome new friend.
How do you feel about dining alone? Please share any tips in the comments.
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Jeff says
February 28, 2015 at 12:30 pmI’m not a recluse or anti-social but I don’t get the issue with dining alone. I have been on the road (45+ weeks a year) since ’93 and enjoy it. As a general rule avoid Hotel restaurants (one exception, and this is odd, is the Shilo restaurant in the Shilo hotel near PDX airport) like the plague. overpriced and generic food. I also agree getting into a hot restaurant as a single is always much easier and in a pinch you can hit the bar (which I generally don’t like to do).
ecaarch says
February 27, 2015 at 11:33 pmIf you want to be alone, table location is key. Ask to be seated where you can people watch (either watching those in the restaurant or those walking by outside). It is infinitely more entertaining than any book, and servers are usually happy to provide additional commentary each time they stop by your table.
Also the communal table presents tremendous opportunities to actually meet the people of a city. When others sit down (most often they will be in a pair or group) they feel much more relaxed in engaging YOU because, as a solo diner, you are non-threatening.
David Goldin says
February 27, 2015 at 8:33 pmI travelled on business, both in the US and overseas, usually alone, for twenty five years. Here’s what worked for me: eat at the bar, hopefully at a good restaurant. You’re actually more likely to savor the food if you’re eating alone. Order a carafe or a bottle of wine. Or a couple of glasses, depending on your tolerance. If drinking a whole bottle, I would try to choose one with 12.5% or lower alcohol content. I’d normally avoid hotel restaurants. If the weather was nice, it was pleasurable to walk back to the hotel. Citi-zen’s comments below are also right on the mark.
Nortoon says
February 27, 2015 at 8:13 pmAu contraire. I think, in the solitary life of traveling for work, that the single biggest perk is dining alone. For one, you can get into almost ANY hot restaurant in town ass a single, and at the counter, get to meet the locals who make whatevver city you are in what it is.
Second, the best restaurants, as mentioned before, always have bar/counter space, and the server wants you to enjoy the experience.
Lastly, there is no better way to get the feel of a city you are visiting, than to do thhe above. I seriously attribute my love of Seattle and Portland (my main travel cities), to this experience.
-Nortoon
John Sousa says
February 27, 2015 at 7:38 pmI used to hate eating alone in restaurants…..But years ago I discovered the best friend to take with me when going out to dinner…..A good book! I always make a reservation (open table) and put in the comments section that I will be reading during my meal….90% of the time I am giiven a well lighted location. I enjoy a glass of wine, read my book, relax then order dinner….By the time I’m back at my hotel room, I’m ready for a good nights sleep….
citi-zen says
February 27, 2015 at 3:18 pmI’ve dined alone for years – I don’t find it a big deal. I don’t know why you’d suggest hurrying thru a meal, instead of enjoying it. When dining alone, also don’t be afraid to turn down a bad table…. I’ve had to turn down a small, dark, by the kitchen door table when I wanted to be able to read. I also tip well as the server could easily have had 2 people at the same table, so if they take care of me, I respond with a bigger tip.
PH says
February 27, 2015 at 9:32 amI’ve been trying out a new option on recent business trips. From my work place for the day (e.g., customer visit), I place a takeout order at a local well-known restaurant. I then take Uber from the work place to the restaurant to go inside and pick up my food to my hotel — the Uber driver has no problems waiting outside — and I can then enjoy quality food in my room without waiting for room service or paying the hotel’s usually high prices.
(This wouldn’t work so well with a street hailed taxi — the driver doesn’t have the same assurance that he or she is going to get paid.)